ProZac NatioN

The first..

2010-03-14T05:45:55Z

It's my 1st entry in a while..
Also my 1st big flu in a while..
The 1st time i've felt lost and dispair in a while..
The 1st time I feel that I have the potential to be rested in a while..
The 1st time i've felt that i'm far from any expectations..
The 1st time I feel inadequate..
The 1st time I feel that there's alot of potential..
The 1st time there's alot to account for in the little things too..

I must do a good job~! When I can do it here I can (independently) make it anywhere else..

※ Just you wait and see ※

Hmm..

2010-01-29T10:46:32Z

Ok.. Mom decided to catch Puccini’s La Boheme with someone else.. Let's see what I can do tmr instead.. Hmm..

you spin me right round baby, right round...

2010-01-29T07:55:50Z

what have i been doing?

Jan week 1 - moping around the house.. depressed... i don't know why...
Jan week 2 - getting out, meeting old friends... swimming...
Jan week 3 - much the same as week 2... but met up with Jesmine... who also just quit... then when pissed off, demanded for garden leave... when she got it, subsequently got depressed as well... she's been in the company almost as long as me, just shy of 1 year... yes, it's come to an end...
Jan week 4 - trying to dial back a notch... not gg out as frequently...

So... 1 Feb... I start...

But before that... i'll still try to chill... hee... gg out with Kat today...

Tomorrow will be catching Puccini’s La Boheme, presented by Singapore Lyric Opera (SLO) at the Esplanade Theatre. It's a brand new production directed by Andrew Sinclair, a resident director of The Royal Opera House, London.

Just 1 month..

2010-01-26T15:43:07Z

One month seems to be flying by.. Fast? Well, it's all relative..

At least it was restful.. Went through a range of emotions.. Met up w friends.. The yearly, the quarterly, the monthly and the weekly..

I must say I am a little excited to start my new job, which is rather unexpected..

We all need a purpose in life..

One of us; one of them..

2010-01-05T13:37:13Z

What has happened to me?

How did I get this way?

How did I get here?

Where am I?

I'm not fulfilled.. I'm not happy.. I'm not sad.. Nothing excites me.. I need something.. But I don't know what.. Everyone seems to have something to live for, to hold on to.. keep them going..

In a word I feel empty.. Maybe even a little bit lost..

When will this all end? When will it begin? Has it started already?

Patron Tequila

2010-01-02T12:08:13Z

PARADISO GIRLS - Patron Tequila

-Intro [Lil' Jon]-
Let's go!
Hey!
What's happenin'?
What you drinkin' tonight girl?
Drinkin' tonight with me!
Put your drinks up!

-Chorus [Aria] (Lil' jon)-
Hey girl
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight)
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! )
By the end of the night
Imma have you so fucked up! (have you so fucked up)

-Verse [Chelsea] (Lil' Jon)-
They said what you drinkin'? (what you drinkin'?)
Let me buy you a couple of rounds
And I said what you thinkin'? (yeah! )
I ain't the type of girl to get down
But I can party wit cha (uh huh)
And bring my girls aside (uh huh)
Tell the bartender bring the ice
And let 'em know I'm on Patron

-Chorus {Aria, with ad libs by [Chelsea]} (Lil' Jon)-
I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita [on Margaritas]
That Patron, Tequila [that Patron]
Me and my mamacita (yeah! ) [me and my mamacita]
Hey girl (hey girl)
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight (get real drunk tonight) [real drunk tonight]
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight) [yeah]
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! ) [throwing up]
By the end of the night [oohh]
Imma have you so fucked up! (so fucked up! )

-Verse [Lauren] (Lil' Jon)-
And now the parted heated
'Cuz I got a hot girl in the club
I'm feelin' so conceited (yeah! )
'Cuz everybody is giving me love (uh, uh)
But hold up, wait a minute (uh huh)
'Cuz my cup is going empty
I need someone to refill me
I'm trynna to get drunk (me too)

-Chorus {Aria, with ad libs by [Lauren]} (Lil' Jon)-
I'm on Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]
Me and my mamacita
Hey girl (hey girl)
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight (get real drunk tonight)
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight) [yeah]
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! ) [throwing up]
By the end of the night
Imma have you so fucked up! (so fucked up! )

-Bridge {Aria, (Lil' Jon)} [Chelsea and Lauren]-
Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]
Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]
Who wanna get drunk? (me) [me]
Who wanna get drunk? (I'm already drunk) [me]
Who wanna get fucked up? (haha) [I do, I do]
Who wanna get fucked up?(I ain't stopping them) [I do, I do]
Who wanna get drunk? [me]
Who wanna get drunk? (let's have another one)

-Chorus {Aria, (Lil' Jon)} [Chelsea and Lauren]-
I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]
Me and my mamacita (put your drinks up! )
Hey girl (hey girl)
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]
Imma have you drunk and throwing up [repeating Aria]
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]
Imma have you so fucked up! [Imma have you so fucked up! ]

-[Lil' Jon]-
Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!

-[Aria]-
I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila
Me and my mamacita

new year; new start...

2010-01-02T11:51:44Z

I guess all good things must come to an end...

i tendered on 30 Dec and last day was 31 Dec...

didn't think it would be that hard...

but it was... around 10am the emails and sms-ed came flooding in... all wishing me well, asking me why it seems so sudden and where i'll be headed. old colleagues from various departments, some still within the bank, sms-es from ex-colleagues who have already left the bank...

after I sent our my own personal farewell, even more emails, sms-es and calls came in... even merchants and partners...

suddenly i realised how much i would miss this place... i do... and i always will...

From: Prozac Nation [mailto:ProNation@dcba.com]
Sent: Thursday, 31 December, 2009 11:49 AM
Subject: Fare thee well...

Dear friends

I've received many farewells in my 7 years here and it's time for me to bid farewell as today is my last day of service with DCBA.

I sincerely appreciate all the help you have given to me during my stay with the company. Moving forward, I wish you all the in your future endeavours! I’m sure our paths will cross again! You may still contact me at my personal emailaddress or my mobile.

Yours sincerely
Prozac Nation

I have..

2009-12-14T00:57:57Z

I have..
..seen children so poor they have no soap to bathe
..seen children so poor cloths are a luxury
..seen a place where footwear a luxury
..seen children born with HIV infected by parents who had to leave e village in search of work
..seen a place where wells are a luxury and more so if you have a water pump
..played football in a dried up padi field, where e home team plays more comfortably without shoes
..slept on a mat on a plywood splintered floor, (virtually in e middle of no where) in a small village svay prahoot, cambodia

Dreary monday once more..

2009-11-30T00:36:33Z

What makes a monday so blue? Was the weekend not good? Or maybe it was too good..
I can say I can't complain.. After all I did catch e gala opening of W!ld Rice's Beauty & the Beast. Who cares if I started the day with an impending flu or had a headache after the show.. It was still great~! Once again drawing humour from current affairs, pop culture yet maintain mass appeal from kids to adults alike!
What made it all even better? The fact that it was on a public holiday and e next day is saturday~! Went out and caught mulan.. Though a good show I must stop watching was flims, they're so depressing~!
Sunday was run of the mill..
Today.. Ah today.. Sigh..

How could you..

2009-11-16T22:03:59Z

You did it again.. You let it get this far.. You couldn't have bit the bullet then? Given up when he have up? Now you've dragged him into the heart break.. You knew you couldn't go through with it.. But you let yourself fall.. A fall 6 years in the making.. You caused all this hurt.. You're hurting the one you love.. You made him the one you love.. His parents liked you too.. You're disappointing all of them.. How could you.. How could you..

I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry..

Life..

2009-11-12T09:56:33Z

After a hectic 2 plus weeks, this is the life~!
The 1st 2 days went by pretty slowly.. Think i'm not used to e sudden hault to a stop.. Not that it's really sudden with jenn, mh and myself staying in e office till 11plus on saturday..
Anyway, the days have been lovely.. Just chilling catching up with friends.. Suddenly it seems like 8 days isn't enough~!
At least after this round I can still look forward to the 8-11 dec mission trip to cambodia with mom..

LG - Life's good...

2009-09-22T11:10:25Z

what's not to love? life's been a blast (of course this doesn't count work - although work isn't that bad either)~!

13 sept - got free tix to catch 'The Extraordinary V Conference 2009' @ Zicar with pauline (what can i say? i only ahve 1 tix and it sure helps that we live near each other~!) Put mildly, the show was a blast~! Irene Ang's got comedic talent and there are the 3 guys that have been my eye candyfor the last 2 years - or there abouts.

18 sept - company D&D... didn't win anything but it turned out more fun then expected (for an open-air, free-standing venue @ Vivo)

19-21 sept - zipped to KL with Ber, Don, MH, Jeff & ML~! Got to meet up with Fun & SR~! lovely~! = ^ - ^ =

25 & 26 Sept - F1 Rocks~!! yeah baby~! Friday with Pauline and Saturday with Kat! WooHoo~!!!! The line up? Take a lookie:

Friday 25th September.
1700 - Doors
1830 - NERD
1945 - Simple Minds
2115 - ZZ Top
2300 - No Doubt

Saturday 26th September.
1800 - Doors
1900 - Havana Brown
2100 - Black Eyed Peas
2200 - DJ Seb Fontaine (set change)
0000 - Beyonce

What will i be missing by declining Thursday?

Thursday 24th September.
1700 - Doors
1900 - Da Mouth
2000 - Sodagreen
2100 - A Mei
2200 - Jacky Cheung performance

relief at last...

2009-09-11T18:59:19Z

In short, she has changed.

The person i knew would never have done such a thing.

She would never have hurt someone else for personal gain.

We will not see eye to eye

You know the worst part? I am actually relieved that i am 'rid' of her, that i don't need to hear about her relationship and i am no longer part of it. I even have close friends who ask me if she has ever taken into consideration my feelings/standpoint instead of making everything about the both of them...

Amazing Grace.. how sweet the sound..

2009-09-11T14:37:14Z

Amazing Grace
Text: John Newton; st 6 anon.
Music: 19th cent. USA melody; harm. by Edwin O. Excell

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved; how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come; 'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me, his word my hope secures; he will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease, I shall possess, within the veil, a life of joy and peace.

When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun.

Sudden Light

2009-08-15T14:08:23Z

I have been here before,
But when or how I cannot tell:
I know the grass beyond the door,
The sweet keen smell,
The sighing sound, the lights around the shore.

You have been mine before,
How long ago I may not know:
But just when at that swallow's soar
Your neck turned so,
Some veil did fall - I knew it all of yore.

Has this been thus before?
And shall not thus time's eddying flight
Still with our lives our love restore
In death's despite,
And day and night yield one delight once more?

Sudden Light by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (12 May 1828 – 9 April 1882)

We can recap can't we?

I have decided that i am going through crisis of sorts, the trouble is i just can't figure out of it's mid-life or a thrid-life crisis... i have friends who are too kind and tell me that i'm going through quarter-life crisis, but i honestly do not wish to live till a hundred and sixteen...

I guess nothing's new... it's the time of the year where i feel like i've achieved little and am very unlikely to achieve much in the next half to one year... sure, day to day is bearable and even fun at times as long as you don't pay attention to the details or even the big picture...

I admit not all's good now but we can always cling on to the smoke screens. So, before i allow the fun times to slip away before due documentation let me just share with you the last month or so;

Did i mention we adopted a new dog? a suspected tibetian masfiff, he was beautiful when he came unfortunately he was also rather depressed. i heard his last 1 year was rather miserable being shuffled around and neglected. Bear had such a beautifully thick coat that also worked against him, after a while we brought him to be shaved, not he's much cooler. The only down side to this adoption is that Bear and Marx can't get along.

1 Aug was the long anticipated trip to Bandung, Indonesia. It was a lovely place with shopping and sight seeing galore~! Day one all we did was shop and chillex... after hitting the shops we went back to the hotel and had dinner... we had local stuff so it wasn't costly, but what made it really cheap was erin's friend, fiona's staff discount. It came up to about SGD$5.50 per pax~!

2 Aug, sight seeing and a bit of shopping... to be more specific we spent the morning journying to Kawah Putih, also known as the white crater - a sulfuric crater on Mount Patuha, then went past a tea plantation and strawberry farm on the way back to the hotel. After a 10 minute break we headed down to the pool to chill. After we showered we had dinner at the itatian restaurant by the pool where we had the most amazing mushroom soup~! you can almost say it was to die for~! Of course after dinner it just wouldn't be right not going out to shop before we chilled to sparkling wine, red wine, strawberries and cake. I still can't believe we did so many things in that one day~!

3 Aug, nothing super interesting... just shopping and chilling by the pool :p of course the rest of the girls wouldn't think so... alright, i did buy quite a bit of stuff. but mainly toiletries... hahaa... like 24 toothbrushes and 24 tubes of synsodyne~!

4 Aug, not much we can do considering we needed to be at the airport by 10.30am. *sigh*

After it all at least we had the n'day long week end to look forward to~!

8 Aug, took a walk at the southern ridges with jan and caught G.I. Joe

That should take us more or less up to speed...

done deal...

2009-08-10T12:33:29Z

done deal, it's over... signed, sealed and delivered...

"so sher... to cold turkey or use the patch? or 1 patch then cold turkey?
"i think for you. you need drugs.. hahaaa"
"i think so too"

The End.

What should..

2009-08-09T12:05:37Z

What should I do? What choice do I really have..

If I go back, i'm settling with the comfortable. Can I get it back in the 1st place?

I know it won't work out..

Then why do I want it? It seems easier for some to let go.. Or am I just sore that i'm not the one to let go 1st?

Why, what, how & when..

All I know is I pushed my luck too far.. How do I fall off e ledge?

Own Time Own Target.. still on target~!

2009-07-12T13:11:35Z

I think e previous run at Singapore Theatre Festival was better (more audience participation)... or maybe it's just a little different, tailored to a larger audience...

Previously there was another play in between titled 'Radio Silence', also by Laremy Lim that i throughly enjoyed, pity this time round it wasn't included... Probably to give way for greater character development in the 2 main plays 'Full Tank' by Laremy Lim and 'Botak Boys' by Julian Wong.

All in all i think it's a 1st class comedy act that's close to e heart... In my humble opinion, 'Own Time Own Target' is still well worth the watch and kudos to another play well done by W!ld Rice~!

NS theme so be prepared for hokkien vulgarieties...

wonder girls... catchy...

2009-07-08T16:03:06Z

Wonder Girls — Nobody (English) lyrics

You Know I still Love You Baby.
And it will never change. (Saranghae)

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You
How can I be with another, I don't want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why are you trying to, to make me leave ya
I know what you're thinking
Baby why aren't you listening
How can I just
Just love someone else and
Forget you completely
When I know you still love me

Telling me you're not good enough
My life with you is just too tough
You know it's not right so
Just stop and come back boy
How can this be
When we were meant to be

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You
How can I be with another, I don't want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why can't we just, just be like this
Cause it's you that I need and nothing else until the end
Who else can ever make me feel the way I
I feel when I'm with you, no one will ever do

Telling me you're not good enough
My life with you is just too tough
You know me enough so
You know what I need boy
Right next to you is where I need to be.

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You
How can I be with another, I don't want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want no body, body
I don't want no body, body

Honey you know it's you that I want, it's you that I need
Why can't you see~

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You
How can I be with another, I don't want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free
Nothing else matters other than you and me
So tell me why can't it be
Please let me live my life my way
Why do you push me away
I don't want nobody nobody nobody nobody but you.

plane...

2009-07-06T10:56:33Z

Drain the veins in my head
Clean out the reds in my eyes to get by security lines
Dear x-ray machine
Pretend you don't know me so well
I wont tell if you lied
Cry, cause the droughts been brought up
Drinkin' cause you're lookin so good in your starbucks cup
I complain for the company that I keep
The windows for sleeping rearrange
And I'm nobody
Well who's laughing now

Plane by Jason Mraz

Just something i saw on you tube that i found pretty amazing...

it's the start of another week, i'm still waiting for my phone... Red's out of stock...
I feel there's something i'm missing out... really don't know what...

seems like Jan's having fun in brisbane... but weird that she's in touch with that man...

days are a mix of hot, scorching weather, with sudden cool showers translating into humid days...

i've 3 or 4 books waiting to be read... wonder when i'll get to them... maybe i'll try to finish watching my master of tai chi vcds today... sad that i find them a drag... why could they have been in DVD? then i wouldn't have to get up to change the discs so often... alas the height of laziness~!

Talking about things...

2009-07-04T12:13:12Z

Things to buy:
Corporate Microsoft Office
W995
Many items from IKEA
Jewellery box
amp for speakers

Things to do:
Connect Printer
Put up curtains
Own Time Own Target play coming Friday
Catch Ice Age 3
Email little Viet Girls

Poppinjay - 2 doses

2009-07-01T18:02:02Z

Interesting evening.. After dance class got back good by 10pm, thought to myself.. Nice, an early night for me..

But 1st thing that happens? Mom asks me to call pauline to check what we need to do if a dog eats 2 bars of soap.

Conclusion? We bring marx to e a&e.. So marx is staying the night.. Hope he'll be fine..

4.12 death & the dog: Happy Talk..

2009-06-27T17:37:39Z

Act 2, Scene 2
Fraiser: How loosely woven is the fabric of our happiness... A tug or 2 and it unravels to reveal how empty our everyday lives really are.

Act 2, Scene 3
Fraiser: So... Even the happiest of us can find reasons to be unhappy if only we look for them. So don't look look for them. Take a tip from our dog friends - treat yourself to your favourite toy, whatever that may be... Life is too short to dwell on every bump on the road. Try to take pleasure in the simple things. In short, eat a cookie!

10 Days out of office... starting 19 June 09

2009-06-24T13:33:01Z

Day 1 (Fri): 'Fixed' pc but instead got an official death cert. Brought Marx to e vet. Picked up 4 lovely Viet girls from SAV for 3D2N home stay at our place.

Day 2 (Sat): Brought e girls to Marina Square to shop and Pizza Hut for lunch (joined by Mom). Went on to Far East Plaza (bumped into Faisal) then took a cab home by 6pm. Splitting headache, i slept by 9pm while e girls went out w aunt esther n Mom to see esplanade area then to carl's ecp for supper.

Day 3 (Sun): Went to church, all e kids put on a dance item. After lunch sis took them out for movie and sent them back to SAV.

Day 4 (Mon): a.k.a. Week 2 of the Viet Kid's English Summer Camp. Woke up really early and got to SAV byb 8.30am... apparently i only needed to be there by 9am or 9.30am cos the kids were just waking up. In total there were about 30 kids from 3 different (elite) schools in Vietnam, Hanoi.

1st half of the day they went through some warm up games, lessons, character building & journaling. After lunch the team from Combat Skirmish came to set up for the game. It was really fun and in the end the overall champions were of course the leaders.

After dinner, there was an after sharing session on how what we have learnt from the games.

I must say i have bugged poor ber and other friends (and even mom) thru the day mentioning how boring the day was for me. Well, what can i say, i am not naturally sociable nor did i find the great need to be... hmm... doesn't help tt i got totally bugged that people keep asking how old i am or trying to fish out my age... i'm definalely too old to answer such questions~!

Day 5 (Tue): this time i reached SAV at about 9am. The usual morning lessons proceeded. After lunch we were carted to Bedok Reservoir for our 'forest adventure'. It was something i really didn't expect what was coming next. I thought i was going for a nature walk but it really was a forest advanture~! I was one enlisted as an assisting instructor at one of the course points. T'was tiring but heaps of fun~!

Evening i left right after the course and headed to suntech for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and yes, it was before the official release~! T'was with Erin, Ber & Don; had tea with Min Hui & Erin afterwards. Lots of office updates~!

Today my mobile phone's camera has gone to rest... new phone i'm aiming for W995~!

Day 6 (Wed): The days were getting better... i woke at 7.30am, then realised i only needed to be there in the afternoon... went back to sleep and reached there at 1pm. After their lunch we set out for THE AMAZING RACE~! this wasn to teach them about our nlocal public transport. 1st destination was Doby Ghaut MRT to the National Museum, next China Town, followed by Little India and lastly back to SAV.

After that i rushed back to the office to meet Jenn and walk over for our dance lessons. When she saw me she said that i looked like i just fort a war...

Day 7 (Thu): Morning there was a short lesson at SAV, then to Wild Wild Wet , i seriously didn't realise i needed to bring my bathingsuit... so i could only sit on the side with the other girls that needed to side on the side.

Before we set off that spoilt one had to come and bug me... after 'analysing me' stating that i hardly smile, only talk when necessary and are a totally boring person probably cos i work in a bank, now she says that i don't ever join in their activities. Like how can i ever be the most popular if i don't? but really do i need to at all?

After Wild Wild Wet i scooted off to meet ber... dinner @ NYNY and chat and stuff (finally bought my dance shoes)~!

Day 8 (Fri): Woke late, well as late as i could since my blinds were removed to make way for the curtain rods (without rods). Evening went back to church for the little concert the kids put on (which was the same as the previous performance), the evening dragged... till we finally took group pix and i left.

Day 9 (Sat): Picked the kids up in the late afternoon and went to Carl's Jr @ Marina Square. After dinner the girls shopped at Marina Square & Suntec. I felt kinda bad that 'squrrel' wasn't able to get anything so i offered to buy her something. Immediately her face lit up.

Day 10 (Sun): Also known as the mad rush. After church we needed to rush the girls to the airport, cos there was (erroneous) info that their flight had been bumped up. When we got there we realised it wasn't. Too late, we got the girls sandwiches from Pacific Coffee and once all of them grouped to check in we bid them farewell. 'Squrrel' gave us a farewell card that was kinda touching.

After that we went back for homemade sandwiches.

Dinner? Kuishin-Bo~! Tiff's treat, for getting on the dean's list~! Go Sis~!!!

After dinner i managed to pick up a new PC~!
(acer ASX1700(74MR464), WIndows Vista home premium with SP1, Intel Core 2 Duo processor E7400, 4GB DDR2 Memory, 640GB HDD, DVD-Super Multi nDL drive, NVIDIA GeForce G100 512MB, Wireless LAN)

All in all it was a good 10 Days... don't think i'll volunteer a gain though. Think it's pretty amazing i did in the 1st place~! My leave wasn't even meant to be late June but early June. It's also really odd that mom would volunteer to home the kids over the weekend. Well, God provisions.

Papadams..

2009-06-21T15:46:46Z

This week was a breeze..
Got to end most my days by 7/7.30pm.. Wednesday signed up and took my 1st exotic dance lesson and my muscles ache till now~!
Fri got someone to look at my pc (it's dead) and took marx to e vet.. Night time we went to pick up e viet students..
Sat was out w them MS then far east.. After dinner, they went out for ice-cream.. I stayed at home, had a headache.. Slept from 9pm-9am, pretty amazing huh~!
Anyway, today i've got a headache too.. Sucks.. Irritable.. Annoyed.. Sigh..